


Laugh With the Sinners

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey and Finn might be heroes, but from an official standpoint, they’re Resistance nobodies, rookies with no rank. Their boyfriend, on the other hand, most definitely is not a Resistance nobody. They learn quickly how to use this to their advantage. What’s the point of dating a commander if you’re not using it to get yourself out of trouble, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Laugh With the Sinners

**Author's Note:**

> Not meant to be taken seriously, I have no regrets. *g* The title is from Billy Joel (okay, I might regret the title). Written for [this kink meme prompt](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/2821.html?thread=5123589#cmt5123589): Poe is a high ranking and respected member of the resistance. Rey might be a jedi in training and Finn is thought highly of for his heroism, but the two still lack any significant official power. That's where Poe comes in. Finn and Rey want to snoop in off limits rooms? "Poe said we could." Sneaking extra food from the kitchens at night? "Commander Dameron gave us permission." Racing BB-8 with other off-duty astromechs in the hangar? "Poe absolutely gave the okay for this yep." Is Poe aware of this? And what's his reaction when he finds out?

“I think probably that door was locked for a reason,” Finn said, constantly glancing over his shoulder like he thought General Organa was going to burst out of the shadows and shout at him.

“It wasn’t a very good lock,” Rey told him.

It almost hadn’t been worth it, really. She hadn’t even needed BB-8 for it. If the Resistance couldn’t build locks that a baby could get through, they deserved to have their hidden corridors searched.

Not that this corridor was proving to be particularly interesting. As far as Rey could tell, it was locked because they kept the big weapons here. 

They weren’t even that big. The Resistance was _broke._

Neither of them missed the sound of a door opening. Finn’s terrified expression probably matched Rey’s - she didn’t actually want to get yelled at by General Organa for snooping, you see. She grabbed Finn’s hand with the intention of dragging him into the nearest room, but it was too late.

“Finn? Rey?” Admiral Statura strode towards them, frowning. “You aren’t supposed to be in here. How did you get in here?”

 _Luke will kill me for this if he finds out,_ Rey thought, fully prepared to use the Force on a Resistance admiral to keep out of trouble.

Before she could so much as open her mouth, though, Finn was blurting out, “Commander Dameron asked us to pick something up for him.”

Rey side-eyed Finn. Finn didn’t look at her, his back ramrod straight and his focus fully on Statura. Completely straight-faced.

Rey was impressed.

Admiral Statura held Finn’s gaze for a second before looking to Rey, who tried to echo Finn’s ‘yeah, we’re totally supposed to be here’ vibe. Finally he said, “Well, tell Commander Dameron to run his errands himself next time.”

“Yes, sir,” Finn said, all but saluting.

They watched Admiral Statura continue down the corridor. 

Finn exhaled shakily. “That was close.”

Rey smacked his arm. “I didn’t know you were such a good liar.”

“Our entire first meeting was based off a lie, Rey, and then I lied again to get them to let me find you at the Starkiller Base.”

“Oh, right.” Still, though. She grinned. “Poe would be pissed if he knew you were name-dropping him to cover up our snooping.”

Finn grinned back. “Guess we better not tell him, then.”

-

That was the first time they used Poe’s name to avoid getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

It wasn’t the last time.

Rey figured a few little white lies never hurt anyone, right? If she wanted to have a little bit of fun on base in between the training and the flying and the work and the almost dying, she thought she was owed. So was Finn.

And if Poe didn’t precisely _know_ they were abusing their privileges by throwing his name and rank around like crazy, well… Well, like she’d said. It wasn’t hurting anybody. Poe couldn’t be upset about something he wasn’t even aware of.

Finn and Rey were, quite frankly, nobodies in the Resistance. Sure, Rey had beaten Kylo Ren and was training to be a Jedi, and Finn had helped them destroy the Starkiller Base, but officially, they were the lowest of the low. They were new recruits with no rank and no standing.

Who just happened to be dating Commander Poe Dameron, Black Leader, Resistance hero and the finest pilot in the fleet.

Rey was considering this just another perk.

-

In the kitchens at night, long after the place was technically closed, Rey shoved a plate of pastries at Finn and then stuffed a couple more rolls onto it. “We’re doing them a favor by liberating this, believe me. It won’t be as good in the morning. Day old, you know?”

She thought that was a thing. Sometimes Jess complained, anyway. Everything on this base was still better than anything Rey had ever had on Jakku, so she probably wasn’t the best judge.

“Don’t need to convince me,” Finn said, and liberated a pastry from the plate into his mouth.

Rey snorted laughter and wondered if she could get away with pilfering a bottle of that juice she liked. Eh, probably shouldn’t push her luck. Maybe next time.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing Finn’s arm and nearly walking him straight into a woman who had appeared in the doorway.

Finn coughed on his pastry.

“Um,” Rey said, and eyed the woman nervously. 

She was one of the cooks, a regular, an older woman, tall and slim, with dark gray hair and eyes like Iolo’s. A Keshian. The kitchens were mostly staffed by droids, but not entirely. “Where do you think you’re going with that?”

Rey darted a quick glance at Finn, who raised and dropped his shoulders almost imperceptibly. Rey looked back to the cook. Her name was Syrin, Rey was fairly sure. “We missed dinner, you see. Commander Dameron gave us permission to grab a few things.”

That might have been more convincing if they’d taken fewer sweets and more actual nourishing food, Rey realized in hindsight. Oh, well. It seemed to do the trick anyway.

Syrin’s expression softened. “Commander Dameron? Oh, well, I suppose that’s all right, then.” She walked past them and opened a cabinet, pulling out a small bottle of ale. “We’re not supposed to keep alcohol, strictly speaking, on account of the fighting and all, but… You’ll give him this, won’t you?”

Rey found herself struggling not to laugh. “Uh, sure. Of course.”

“Such a nice young man, isn’t he? Works so hard. Tell him it’s from me.”

“We’ll be sure to,” Rey said and pushed Finn towards the door. They barely made it out of the kitchens before collapsing into giggles. “Stars,” Rey said, practically wheezing from laughter. “Does everyone on this entire base have a thing for Poe?”

“But he’s such a sweet man,” Finn said, pitching his voice higher. “So kind, so thoughtful, so handsome.” 

“Those dreamy eyes,” Rey crooned. “That hair!”

“Says the girl who loves to pull it,” Finn teased.

Rey smacked him. “Oh, like you don’t.”

Finn raised his chin. “That’s beside the point,” he sniffed, but he was holding back a smile.

“Whatever, let’s go play sabacc and stuff our faces,” Rey said.

-

“Come on, Finn, I’ve _got_ to get off base, just for a little bit,” Rey pleaded.

Finn eyed her unsurely. “No one’s supposed to leave this late, not without permission. They’re gonna stop us.”

“Not if they don’t see us.”

“And how are you going to manage that?”

“Please,” Rey said. “Jedi, remember?”

“I think probably Luke would disagree with that statement.”

“Luke’s not going to hear about this. Is he?”

Finn hesitated. 

“Is he, Finn?”

“Oh, fine,” Finn relented, a smile creeping onto his face. “Will you do that loopy thing you do?”

Rey grinned back. “More than once, even.” She pulled herself up into the speeder and sat behind the controls, waiting for Finn to get in next to her.

“What are you guys up to?”

Finn stopped in place, one leg dangling out the side.

Reluctantly, Rey turned to face Jess. “We’re just going for a quick spin. Back before you know it.”

Jess crossed her arms over her chest. “At this time of night?”

“Poe said we could.”

Finn nodded. “Yep, he did.”

Jess narrowed her eyes as she looked from one to the other. “Poe? He did?”

“Definitely.” Rey chewed on her lip and then stopped, realizing it made her seem anxious. She tried to look guileless.

After another long pause, Jess sighed and shook her head. “Tell Dameron he’s going soft; he’s got you two walking all over him.”

“Pretty sure he must realize that already,” Rey said, her smile entirely unfeigned. 

“One of these days someone’s gonna realize we’re making it all up,” Finn said as Rey started up the speeder.

“Yeah, probably,” Rey agreed, and zoomed out of the hangar.

When they returned to base, happy and relaxed, they went to find Poe in their quarters.

He was stretched out on the bed, reading a holonovel. “Where have you guys been?”

“Nowhere, really,” Rey said, taking off her shoes. She got in bed behind Poe, fitting herself against his back and draping her arm over his waist. She kissed the back of his neck.

“Why are you so cold?” Poe asked, twitching away from her.

Rey mouthed ‘oops’ at Finn, who rolled his eyes at her. “Er. Took a quick walk outside.”

Poe made a soft humming sound but then he rolled over to face Rey, abandoning the holonovel. “Need some warming up?” he asked, drawing his lip between his teeth.

“Absolutely,” Rey agreed, and snuggled closer.

-

“Remind me why we’re in here again?” Finn said, glancing nervously at the door.

“Because this is too valuable to be viewed on a crummy datapad and the console in here’s way better than the one in Poe’s room,” Rey said, the holo springing to life in front of her face. Plus the fact that Poe was far less likely to catch them in here.

“Right, because it’s meant to be used for important Resistance business. Like saving the galaxy.”

“Poe is seventeen in this holo, Finn,” Rey said, gesturing. “ _Seventeen._ Kar é says he sings _and_ dances.”

Finn’s edge of disapproval wavered and disappeared in the face of Rey’s superior skills of persuasion. “Yeah, whatever, play the damn thing.”

Before Rey could press that last button, she heard a noise from just outside the door.

“Is someone in there?”

“Frag,” Finn said.

They resignedly waited for C-3PO to come creaking in, sounding like he was overdue for an oil bath. “Oh, dear, oh, dear,” he said, catching sight of them. “Mistress Rey, Master Finn, you do know no one’s allowed in here after hours. The prin-- the general doesn’t like it.”

“Poe gave us permission,” Finn said, looking longingly at the still unplayed holovid.

C-3PO sounded unconvinced. “Commander Dameron? Whyever would he do that?”

Oh, come on. Now was not the time for this to stop working, Rey thought. “He’s the commander, maybe you should ask him. While you’re at it, you can explain why you thought you knew better than him.”

Finn was staring at her. Rey faintly shrugged in his direction. Worth a shot, right?

“I never said such a thing,” C-3PO was bumbling. “Of course I do trust Commander Dameron’s judgment, as does General Organa. I’m only trying to do what I’ve been told, you see, but no one ever listens to me. I’m just a droid.”

“Threepio,” Finn said, patting his metal arm. “It’s all right. You questioned our presence in an unauthorized area, as you should have, and we’re telling you we’ve got Poe’s permission to be here. So everything’s all right.”

“Yes, of course, that’s entirely logical,” the droid said, finally moving away. “Do tell Commander Dameron I was only doing my duty.”

“Will do,” Finn said and practically shoved him out of the room.

After they actually got to watch the holo, projected across the center of the large room, both Rey and Finn delightedly agreed it had been worth every bit of effort and then some.

They watched it again.

And then again.

And maybe once – twice – more.

Then they found Poe, who ended up having a _very_ good night. If he ever thought to wonder what the occasion was, he didn’t ask.

There were a lot of things Poe was better off not knowing.

-

“I told you this would never work; it’s too small. You know the cockpits in those porn holovids aren’t actually cockpits, right?”

Rey squirmed, trying to get into a better position. “It’s going to work, just let me-- ow.”

Finn put a protective hand over his lap to prevent Rey from catching her balance via any less than gentle pressure to his crotch. “Besides, Poe’s really the one you should be doing this with, no way in hell this isn’t his fantasy.”

“That’s why I’m practicing with you, dummy.”

“That… makes sense, actually.”

A woman’s voice said, “Finn?”

Finn swore loudly and fumbled to get his pants closed. Similarly startled, Rey thwacked an elbow and a knee against cruelly unyielding surfaces. She swore, too.

The voice grew closer. “Rey?”

Rey and Finn leaned over the side to peer down at Karé, who was now standing beside Poe’s X-wing and staring at them. 

“Hey,” Finn said weakly. 

Karé appeared to be struggling not to laugh. “I’d ask what you were doing if it wasn’t so obvious you were trying to have sex in Poe’s X-wing.”

Rey made a strangled sound halfway between a cough and a laugh. “That’s not what we’re doing.”

“Really.”

“Yeah, I mean, don’t be ridiculous, why would you even think we’d do something so stupid?” Finn tried.

“Because it looks pretty much like that time I tried to have sex in an X-wing,” Karé said. “Better in theory, am I right?”

“Better in theory,” Rey reluctantly agreed. Not that she was giving up. She could make this work. Poe was a little bit smaller than Finn. Maybe that would help. Also he would unquestionably be more invested in the whole thing.

“It was her idea,” Finn said, the traitor.

Laughing, Karé said, “Does Poe know you’re doing this? Because if not, I really hope you’ve got a thorough clean-up plan in place.” 

“Of course he does,” Finn lied immediately. 

“Yeah, Poe said it was okay,” Rey added.

Karé raised an eyebrow. “Poe said it was okay for you to blow Finn in his cockpit? Without him?”

Rey realized this might be pushing it a bit far. “Never mind that,” she said and tried to change the subject. “What are you doing here, anyway? We timed it so… Er. We thought no one would be in here.”

“Had some maintenance to do on my ship. Figured I’d get in while the place is empty.” Karé smirked. “Clearly we had the same idea.”

“We’d better leave you to it, then,” Rey said, climbing up out of the cockpit and launching herself down the ladder. “Let you get on with your business.”

“Don’t want to be underfoot,” Finn agreed, following her.

“Sure you don’t want to finish?” Karé offered, because she was evil.

“Definitely nothing that needs finishing anymore,” Finn called back to her over his shoulder as he hurried away, while Rey tried in vain not to laugh at him.

-

“Someone’s going to kill us for this,” Finn said.

“Definitely,” Rey agreed. “Worth it, though.”

“Totally worth it!”

“Come on, Beebee-Ate, you can do it!” Rey urged, watching the droid pull out ahead of the old R5 unit as they took a turn in the hangar.

So, maybe racing off-duty astromechs wasn’t the _best_ use of their free time, but it was certainly the most entertaining.

BB-8 crossed the designated finish line – beyond the nose of Poe’s X-wing – just before the R5, chirping triumphantly. Rey and Finn cheered, and Finn offered the droid a thumb’s up. BB-8 stuck out his lighter, which never failed to make Finn beam.

The R5 beeped sadly, and Rey patted the metal dome sympathetically.

“It’s all right, I’m sure he cheated,” Rey reassured the droid, to which BB-8 protested indignantly. Rey directed a silencing look at him and then continued, “Don’t worry, better luck next time.”

“Next time, huh?”

 _Oh, kriff,_ Rey thought, slowly turning to see Jess and Karé standing there, stern postures at odds with the amusement in their eyes. Finn slowly edged behind BB-8 as if to deflect attention from himself.

“Let me guess,” Karé said. “Poe said you could?”

“Absolutely, yes, he did, yes, uh huh,” Rey said, and then shut her mouth before she could launch any further into incriminating babble. The R5 trundled off, probably hoping they would all forget about him. Rey understood the feeling.

Finn just stood there looking guilty. Apparently he didn’t feel able to lie his way out of this one. Fine time to decide to be honest.

“I did not,” said an unfortunately familiar voice, “though if you’d asked, I might have.”

“Blast,” Rey said.

“Double blast,” Finn added, with feeling.

“I hope Beebee-Ate won,” Poe said, coming into view from behind an X-wing.

BB-8, rolling towards Poe happily, was only too eager to inform Poe that yes, he most certainly had.

Poe beamed at him. “That’s my buddy.” Then he turned to Rey and Finn, looking less pleased though not actually… displeased. More of a ‘somebody had better tell me what the hell is going on’ expression. “Now, who’s gonna explain to me what the hell is going on?”

Rey and Finn both shuffled their feet awkwardly.

Karé snickered into her hand. “Jess is the one who figured it out, she may as well do the honors.”

“Took me a while to catch on,” Jess said, slinging her arm around Rey’s shoulders. “And really, kudos. Very clever. Sly, even. But yeah, Poe. Your boyfriend and your girlfriend here have been pulling rank to get away with deviant behavior. And when I say rank, I mean your rank.”

“What,” Poe said.

“I’m not sure what’s funnier, actually, my assumption that you were just so smitten you were letting these two get away with whatever they wanted or the reality that they were taking advantage of your reputation and doing it all without you even knowing.”

“You’re dating a couple of delinquents, Poe, did you realize?” Karé asked.

“I might have had an inkling,” Poe said, his face and his tone unreadable. “Whose bright idea was it to use me to get yourselves out of trouble?”

Rey exchanged glances with Finn. The initial cover-up had been Finn’s idea but Rey knew she took most of the responsibility for doing it again. And then they had mostly egged each other on. 

“It was a team effort,” she told Poe.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Rey and Finn stood there side by side, chins lowered, gazing up at Poe through their eyelashes. BB-8 had rolled to a stop just in front of them, offering solidarity and, likely, knowing him, trying to distract Poe with his cuteness.

“Are you mad?” Finn asked.

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed,” Poe said, though the way his mouth was twitching ruined the whole thing.

Rey moved closer to him. “You forgive us?”

“No harm done. All in good fun, right? Besides, maybe I could use a bit more delinquency in my life.” There was a spark in Poe’s eyes that Rey knew meant he already had a particular sort of delinquency in mind, once they made it to a bed. Or not to a bed. The bed tended to be optional.

Rey resisted the urge to high-five Finn.

Jess and Karé both seemed disappointed at the lack of… well, of anything, really. Jess said, “You three are disgusting.”

“You deserve each other,” Karé added. “Though, Poe, as a man in a position of power, you should really use this opportunity to teach these young people about respect and responsibility and… whatever.”

“Wasn’t it you, Captain Kun,” Poe said with particular emphasis, “who arranged the base-wide betting pool regarding these young people and myself?” 

“Yeah, so don’t learn from my example, kids,” Karé said, grinning.

Finn’s eyes had grown huge. “There was a betting pool about us?”

“You’re adorable,” Jess said, patting his shoulder. “Come on, Karé, we should’ve known Poe would be too lovesick to do anything interesting with this information.” 

The two pilots walked off, leaving Rey and Finn with Poe. Poe turned to leave, too, jerking his head at BB-8 in an invitation, which the droid took, following after him. Rey then trotted after Poe, too, with Finn following suit.

“Seriously, though, guys,” Poe said as they walked, “you know I’m all for a bit of fun, but you could have gotten me into trouble.”

Finn brushed that off. “You, General Organa’s favorite? Never.”

“I’m not her favorite,” Poe said, though he had brightened at the suggestion anyway.

Rey and Finn rolled their eyes at each other. “Yes, you are.”

“All right, if you say so.” Poe’s easy pleasure at being considered the person General Organa liked the most on base, even if only by Rey and Finn, was too endearing to be anything else.

“Maybe it’s good we’ve got this nerd to balance us out, Finn,” Rey said. Poe, who didn’t seem at all bothered by being called a nerd, might have been an adrenaline junkie who was always ready to participate in insane behavior in order to do what he felt was right, but he nevertheless wasn’t much of a troublemaker. To say the least. 

“Probably,” Finn said. “Suppose now we’ll have to come up with some other way to save our butts around here, though.”

Poe didn’t say that instead, they could try not to get into positions wherein their butts needed saving. He knew them too well.

What he did say, though, surprised even Rey.

“Or,” Poe said, “you could convince me to let you continue abusing your privileges, at least on occasion. If you can show me what’s in it for me.”

Rey slid her arm around Poe’s waist as they walked, Finn doing the same on Poe’s other side. The mischief in his face no doubt matched Rey’s own expression.

“Oh, I’m sure we can think of something,” she said.

Maybe they could start right now.

**_End_ **

  



End file.
